Everyone experiences anger at some point, but for some, it can strike with far greater intensity than others. When not controlled, anger can be a destructive force on your life.
A person who struggles with anger issues may display frequent aggression and a lack of control over their emotions, and this can have a detrimental effect on relationships, careers and health.
Luckily, there are many ways to manage anger in a healthy and effective way. In this guide, we will share five tips to help you calm down in the moment and build long-term strategies to control your emotions.
Anger vs anger issues
Feeling angry is neither inherently good or bad.
Anger is a natural, emotional reaction that we feel in stressful situations. It’s something that we all experience.
While anger can act as a tool to help us out of difficult situations, it can become a problem if it becomes out of control and destructive.
Anger issues can involve frequent outbursts, aggressive behaviour and a feeling of constant irritability or frustration.
When left untreated, anger issues can damage relationships, careers and negatively impact mental and physical health.
What causes anger?
Anger can be triggered by many things including stress, grief, personal problems and financial issues.
These triggers do not necessarily lead to anger issues, but underlying factors can turn anger as a normal emotion into something uncontrollable.
Anger issues are complex and with many causes, so identifying the root of the problem is key to developing effective and long-term anger management strategies.
Common Causes of Anger Issues
There is no one factor that causes individuals to feel anger. We’re all different. Common triggers for anger outbursts can range from underlying mental health problems to childhood trauma, and can also be exacerbated by factors such as drug and alcohol abuse. Some of the most common causes of anger, include:
Mental health conditions
Struggles with mental health and poor anger regulation can often go hand in hand. Some of the most common mental health conditions that trigger unhealthy anger can include; depression, anxiety, attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) and obsessive compulsive disorder (OCD).
Childhood trauma
Childhood trauma can play a role in how we feel and process anger later in later life. We know that traumatic events or exposure to violence during childhood can create a base for anger issues later in life. When left unaddressed, childhood trauma can lead to angry outbursts and an unhealthy relationship with anger.
Past experiences
We are a product of our experiences. Unresolved issues from the past such as trauma and abuse may cause a strong reaction to a present situation, particularly if a person wasn’t able to safely process their anger at the time.
Current circumstances
High levels of stress from work, finances or personal relationships can be overwhelming, causing anger to spiral out of control.
Substance abuse
Substance abuse can cause chemical imbalances in the brain and body which may increase irritability, aggression and contribute to anger issues.
Recognising the signs of anger issues
Anger issues can present themselves in a variety of ways including emotionally, physically and behaviourally. Recognising these signs is a crucial step in learning how to manage your emotions and control your anger.
Common signs of anger issues:
- Verbal and physical aggression
- Difficulty calming down once angry
- Increased heart rate or high blood pressure
- Tense muscles, clenched fists or teeth
- Sweating or shaking
- Experiencing guilt or isolating from others
Managing anger issues
If you can recognise the early signs of anger, there are many effective self-help tips to help you calm down in the moment and prevent future outbursts.
For longer-term anger management, counsellors at the Centre for Human Potential Psychology can help you understand the root cause of your anger issues and create a personal anger management plan to address and control the behaviour in a positive and healthy way.
Strategies to control your anger
If you can feel yourself getting angry, you can try these quick and easy methods to calm down and stop yourself from spiralling out of control.
Breathe
Taking deep, slow breaths can take your mind off the thing making you angry and help you to cool down.
Try inhaling for 4 seconds, holding the breath for 7 seconds, and then exhaling for 8 seconds. You can repeat this as often as you like until you feel calm.
Count
Counting in your head or out loud can help to distract yourself from a frustrating situation.
You can start by counting to 10, with your eyes closed if possible, and increase the number if you feel it necessary.
Go outside
Going outside and breathing in fresh air can help you to leave a stressful situation and clear your mind.
Taking a walk or a run is also a great way of putting you in a better headspace. Exercise releases tons of natural mood-boosting chemicals, like serotonin, endorphins and oxytocin, which can reduce anger and cheer you up.
Journal your thoughts
Writing down what you are feeling is a very effective way to express your emotions safely and privately.
When you can feel anger brewing, grab a pen and paper and pour your thoughts onto the page for as long as you feel necessary.
If you are struggling with where to start, you could begin with a sentence like “I am angry because…” and write without censoring yourself for as long as it takes to calm down.
Listen to music
We all know that listening to your favourite music is a real mood booster, so why not create a playlist to listen to in frustrating situations or after a stressful day. If it’s your thing, you could even sing out loud to help relieve tension even more.
When to seek help
These tips can be effective ways of managing your anger in the moment, but if you feel like you need long-term or specialist help, anger management counselling may be for you.
Working with a counsellor or psychologist can help you identify the root causes of your anger, identify your triggers and learn techniques to manage your emotions and express your anger in a healthier way.
Anger management and general counselling is available through the Centre for Human Potential. Clients include adults, teens, children, couples and families of all genders, cultures and diversities.
