Anger is a secondary emotion. This means that anger arises when we shift from vulnerable primary emotions, like fear, loss, or sadness; anger is often the next response as a way to deal with the discomfort of these feelings.
While this is a completely natural and instinctive response, anger can sometimes get out of hand. Anger becomes a problem when the emotion becomes uncontrollable and causes distress to physical and mental health.
Understanding the difference between normal emotional reactions and having anger issues is important. In this article, we delve into how you can identify and recognise signs of anger issues and what you can do to manage anger to avoid it affecting your mental health, relationships, work, and day-to-day life.
Is anger ever normal or justified?
Yes – sometimes anger in itself is not unusual or unjustified; more often than not, anger is just part of being human. According to the American Psychological Association, anger is an entirely normal and healthy human response when the emotion is controlled and does not impact your personal relationships and overall quality of life.
In fact, anger can be helpful. When we feel angry about something, we can identify what upsets us, or be motivated to push through distressing scenarios. Anger is often something we are discouraged from feeling, but when we feel in control of our anger – it can provide a degree of protectiveness that is healthy and healing. Where anger becomes a problem is when the feelings of anger are not controlled or addressed in a healthy way.
Common signs of anger issues
Becoming physically abusive
Some people who have little control over their anger can become physically abusive towards others. Anger can trigger the body’s ‘fight or flight’ response, releasing adrenaline and other stress hormones. This response can create a physical urge to act aggressively.
Becoming verbally abusive
Becoming verbally abusive is one of the most common signs of anger issues. A person who becomes verbally abusive when angry might swear at another person, belittle someone by calling them hurtful names, or threaten the safety of others.
Physical symptoms of anger
Anger can be a physical response as well as an emotional one. Physical symptoms of anger include a tight chest, increased and rapid heartbeat, tense muscles, churning feeling in the stomach, sweating, high temperature, shaking or trembling, and clenching the jaw.
Difficulty processing anger
When a person cannot identify and process their anger, they can have difficulties in controlling their emotions. Sometimes, a person is not aware of and can not understand their anger – making it difficult to process the overwhelming feelings of anger and frustration.
Easily or consistently “triggered”
When a person has a range of “triggers” that quickly and without warning set off an anger response, it can be a sign of anger issues. From traffic-induced road rage to slow walkers, small triggers can be everywhere. A person with anger issues often finds themselves set off at a disproportionate level to small “triggers”.
Substance abuse or reliance
When a person has issues expressing their anger in a healthy way, they may turn to substances like drugs and alcohol. Individuals with anger issues often use substances to self-medicate to numb, manage, and help cope with the intense emotions of anger.
Becoming isolated from friends and family
Often, a person who struggles to control their anger will isolate themselves from their family and friends. Becoming isolated is often a way to protect loved ones from physical or verbal abuse or to avoid feeling guilty or ashamed by anger-induced actions.
How to recognise when you have a problem with anger
As mentioned, anger is a normal and essential human response, but if your anger is regular and too intense for the situation – you may have a problem with controlling your anger.
You can recognise if you have a problem with anger by the frequency of the feeling, the extremity of your reaction, how your relationships are affected, or if you feel out of control of what you say and do, which leaves you feeling regretful or ashamed.
Recognising if you have an issue with anger and identifying the signs can give you back agency over your life. The ability to control your intense emotions helps maintain clear communication, prevent impulsive actions, and create a happier environment – which is crucial for your relationships, work life, and overall mental and physical well-being.
Is it possible to resolve anger issues?
Anger issues can be resolved. Mental health professionals, like psychologists or counsellors, can help manage and reduce the frequency and intense reaction of anger. They can also identify any underlying mental health conditions that can contribute to intense feelings of anger.
Psychologists and counsellors help manage anger through relaxation techniques, behavioural therapy, talking therapy, relationship therapy, anger management classes and exercises, and support groups.
The aim of anger management is to understand that your “triggers” can’t always be avoided, but how you react to them can be more positive. With the help of psychologists and counsellors, you can control and reduce your emotional and physiological reactions to anger and live a happier, more meaningful life.
