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Learning to Feel Good Can Be a Life-Changing Exercise

There are a million ways that people can be brought down by society and made to feel less than they are as human beings.

Violence in the home or on the streets, bullying and intimidation at work or in important relationships, blows to self confidence from real or perceived incidents are just some of what life can throw at us. How we feel about ourselves determines to a large extent our ability to recover from these blows, and this in turn influences our behaviour and choices.

Why is Feeling Good about Oneself Essential?

Many people don’t really like themselves all that much, and this is a tragedy. It’s almost impossible for a person to feel good about themselves if they don’t like who they are as a person. Unfortunately, people don’t recognise this, and go through life looking for other people, things or events to make them happy. They think that if they are happy, they will feel good about themselves. What they don’t realise is that feeling good comes first and, in fact, is one of the major motivations behind a life of richness and individuality.

Feeling good about the self is a key part of that much maligned expression – “self esteem.”

There is enough information available to know that low self esteem, or feeling bad about the self, is one of the fundamental causes of most negative forms of human behaviour. Getting a person to understand and accept this is a key goal of counselling sessions seeking to establish a base line from which they can support the participant’s development. A therapist will use many tools to assist participants to find their own ways to feel good, and these tools can be used by anyone seeking the same result.

A Few Quick Techniques to Start Feeling Good, Some of them are quick and easy things that can fit seamlessly into a normal day such as:

  • Exercise – a short, brisk walk may only take five minutes, but it will release endorphins that are an immediate mood lifter. It also boosts the metabolism creating extra energy, and distracts the mind from negative thought patterns.
  • Laugh – there are now groups of people who meet regularly just to laugh for no reason other than it makes them feel good. Force the first few chuckles which will feel a little weird at first. However persevere until a strong and prolonged series of laughs can be produced at will. Like exercise, laughing releases endorphins and if others laugh with you, it doubles its effectiveness.
  • Turn your differences into an asset. Think about yourself as a unique individual, the only one on the whole planet with your life experiences, thoughts and perceptions, amongst others. Instead of feeling awkward, regain confidence by affirming that only you, in all the billions of humanity, have your unique footprint firmly planted on the Earth.
  • Every day write down at least one thing you do well, and one thing that is good about you. It could be as simple as doing the best job of ironing a shirt and loving your pet unconditionally. Look at the list at the end of the week and take pride in those accomplishments.

All of us can choose every day to be as negative and miserable as the next person if we want to shuffle through life as part of the herd. We can also choose to be positive, recognise our individuality, celebrate the things that make us different, and affirm our worth as a human being. An increased sense of well-being brings self assurance and confidence, and with these attributes, everyone can change their lives to be whatever makes them happy. Who would have thought that feeling good could do all that.

Eric Wee Chong Tan | CFHP
Eric Wee Chong Tan

Eric is a Clinical Psychologist whose approach is warm, open, and humorous. He works respectfully with his clients to help them understand their stuck emotional patterns and their way of being with both people and life events.

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