Deciding to go to couples counselling is a big deal.
You have chosen to invest in your relationship, and you are committed to improving it for you both. You are saying ‘this is worth fighting for’, which is to be commended.
Couples counselling is a great environment where you can learn about each other and take the necessary steps to work through whatever issues you’re facing. But although counselling is a great environment in which to experience unprecedented growth, you need to make sure that you and your partner are ready for this.
Having worked with couples from all backgrounds and walks of life, we’ve found that the best results come when the couples are prepared. To help you prepare for your couples counselling, we have created this resource to help you get ready.
Think About What It Is That Actually Needs Work
While you might have decided on counselling due to some issues that are causing tension, it is worth taking the time to think about your long-term happiness. You want to figure out the kind of life you want to build or restore with your partner. Consider your individual shortcomings (this can be tough – most of us find it hard to admit the problems that we might have) and be prepared to discuss these openly in your counselling session.
Write Down Anything Relevant To Discuss In Your Session
You might be experiencing a lot of conflict with your partner at the moment, and this can be tough. While you might have developed patterns to deal with this, such as fighting or hiding away from it, try writing down how you felt, what triggered the conflict, and what you did about it. This kind of record can be very helpful to your therapist.
Consider What It Is That You Love About Your Partner And What Is Hurting The Most
Again, this might involve writing some key things down, but it’s important to identify what you love or loved about your partner and work out what you want to save and restore. Also, if your partner is engaging in activities or behaviour that hurts you, make a record of this.
The reason why this is helpful is that during a therapy session with your couples counsellor, there will be a lot going on. You may find it hard to remember certain details. But if you have things written down, then you will find it a lot easier to bring them to mind and discuss them.
Much of the work that is helpful to do before a couples counselling session involves being introspective. When you are introspective, you are engaging with your own thoughts about key issues and choosing what to focus on. Try and shift your perspective to see things from your partners’ point of view before your session.
This can give you a good idea of why they might feel the way they do. You might also like to try an exercise like mindfulness. Mindfulness gives you the focus and space to be in the present moment as much as possible. It can be a really useful tool not just for your pre-therapy preparation but in other parts of your life.
Thinking of Couples Counselling? Contact us today
Couples counselling is a highly effective tool used by couples around the world to achieve the kind of results that they cannot get to on their own.
At CFHP, our psychologists work with all types of couples, including heterosexual couples, LGBTIQ+ couples, long-term de facto couples, married couples, and parents with young families. We have helped couples work through a variety of conflict and personal issues, including trust issues, infidelity, childhood trauma, and anger issues.
Contact us today for information about relationship counselling. We can help you rekindle those feelings of intimacy and connectedness that might have been lost or dampened – so make an appointment for in-office or online counselling today by calling us on (07) 3211 1117.
Clinical Psychologist Annabelle Young has extensive experience in working with people with depression, anxiety (including panic), adjustment difficulties, stress, trauma, PTSD, bipolar disorder, low self-esteem, grief and loss, interpersonal difficulties, as well as alcohol and drug use issues.